


a lonely word

by anonemone



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Rhodeyfest, Truth Serum, Vision and Wanda are here too! ish, ok really it's just Rhodey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 16:19:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7470633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonemone/pseuds/anonemone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim supposes it’s only natural that the title of mad scientist (engineer, actually, but whatever) fell to him, with Dr. Banner off—somewhere, and Tony currently enjoying his much-deserved retirement with Pepper. So when, after raiding a HYDRA base, they find a mysterious glowy machine of unknown purpose, of course he’s going to tinker with it.</p><p>And of course the mysterious ray the machine emits hits him and he now finds himself in the position he’s gleefully watched Tony be trapped in too many times before.</p><p>***<br/><i>Fill for the Truth Serum box on the Rhodeyfest Bingo! <3</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	a lonely word

Jim supposes it’s only natural that the title of mad scientist (engineer, actually, but whatever) fell to him, with Dr. Banner off— _somewhere_ , and Tony currently enjoying his much-deserved retirement with Pepper. So when, after raiding a HYDRA base, they find a mysterious glowy machine of unknown purpose, _of course_ he’s going to tinker with it.

And of course the mysterious ray the machine emits hits him and he now finds himself in the position he’s gleefully watched Tony be trapped in too many times before.

***

Jim has actually already seen the Captain-America-Is-Disappointed-In-You face a fair number of times in his life.

He’s seen it against Tony a good number of times, of course, sometimes even at him-adjacent. He’s seen it against Natasha, and against Sam, and even once, hilariously, against Vision.

This is, however, the first time he’s seen it full-force directed at him.

He’d say something along the lines of “I didn’t do it” if he can, except that’s just the problem: he finds himself physically incapable of telling any lies.

***

Cap drops the face long enough to pinch the bridge of his nose, like the old man he is. “Do I need to call Tony?”

Jim winces. “I’d really, really rather you didn’t.”

*** 

Cap does, of course, and Tony rushes to base and then laughs his damn face off.

Jim means to say “I hate you,” except it comes out more like “I value and cherish you very much,” which of course just sets Tony off even more.

“Be honest, have you ever fantasized about me in bed? Please say yes, you know Pepper and I have a standing invitation for you to join us.”

“I know you do.”

“Hey, no fair!,” Tony whines, batting Jim’s shoulder like an actual five year old. “You gotta answer!”

“No I don’t, not really. I just can’t lie or anything, far as I can tell.”

“Come on, have you?”

“…I may have.”

Tony looks like Christmas just arrived early. “This is amazing, I never want it to stop—will you hate me if I just leave you like that forever?”

“I can never hate you.”

Tony grins so widely it’s a wonder he doesn’t explode. No, really. It’s really a damn shame he doesn’t.

***

In the end Jim has to leave the workshop because, much as he wants to help figure the mystery machine out, he and Tony (mostly Tony) keep getting sidetracked by the situation. Also, while it is true that Jim can never hate Tony, he sure as hell can get fed up with him.

The first thing he sees upon entering the kitchen is Natasha’s shit-eating grin and he considers going back to the workshop, despite knowing that it was already too late.

“Oh no you don’t,” Natasha says, pulling him back to sit at the table. Sam glances up from his cereal and yeah, that’s a glint in his eye, too. Great. Amazing. He’s sitting opposite his curious teammates, one of whom is a spy trained in information extraction techniques who has interrogated the God of Lies and figured him out, while under the influence of some truth… ray… thing. Cap was “asleep” on the couch near the table, but Jim just knows he’s listening in, too.

He’ll be fine. He’ll be totally fine.

He’s also glad to note that he apparently can still lie to himself, if not to others.

“Soooooo, Jimmy,” Natasha says, all sickly sweet. Jim cringes at the nickname. “Do you really not like all our fabulous nicknames for you?”

“I find them very endearing and would be sad if you stopped using them.”

Sam perks up at that. “Which one’s your favorite?”

“Rhodeybear, except only Tony’s allowed to call me that oh God please don’t tell him I’m willing to give you a few million dollars to make sure he never hears that.”

“Whoa, a few million dollars?”

“SI shares.”

Sam whistles lowly, but Natasha grins. “No dice. This is too good.”

*** 

Eventually even Wanda and Vision join in.

“Colonel, is P equal to NP?”

“I don’t think it works like that, Vision, sorry.”

“It is always worth testing the parameters of an unknown situation.”

***

They’ve covered his childhood ( _“a year in juvie?”;”yeah, mama always told me I had an almost Captain America-like drive to beat up bullies”_ ), his stories in the military ( _“boom, were you looking for this?”_ ), and his barely existent love life ( _“this truth serum is wasted on you”_ ) when Sam finally gets to the line of questioning that Jim was honestly waiting for.

“Any dirt on Stark?”

Payback time. “More than you can ever imagine.”

“How many were actually _your_ fault?”

Shit. “A good 60%, probably.”

Sam’s smile is positively Loki-like. “Start with your most embarrassing.”

Thankfully, Cap chooses that moment to stop feigning sleep and take a seat at the table. “Guys, stop pestering Colonel Rhodes. He has the right to his secrets, right, Colonel?”

“Actually, I don’t mind. I know it’s all in good fun and I trust you all to not ask anything intrusive. And anyway I’m really generally quite an honest person.”

Cap grins, all teeth, and Jim realizes he’s been played. “ _Well_ , in that case…”

Jim smacks his head on the table.

**Author's Note:**

> Tony is loosening a nut when a cool blue light fills the room. 
> 
> He puts his wrench down very carefully; sudden movements might spook the mystery machine. “Friday, ask me a question.”
> 
> “Boss, how far along are you in fixing and reversing the mystery machine?”
> 
> “I have no idea, at all. I think it may be magic, which confuses me to the point of hatred.”
> 
> Tony freezes.
> 
> “ _Fuck._ ”


End file.
